Friday, March 5, 2010
Trading Pokemon On Vba Pokemon Silver
Okay, I have not done the chapter with Hagen. Instead, I post here a small intermezzo with 2 other characters. Originally I did it more for I even wrote to Frederiks to investigate affairs and see to what extent his action is understandable, but now I share it with those yet, look for commands here. I set it or not ff.de bxb purely because it was not gebetat and actually is not purely in the history of Hagen. The narrative style is also different. ^ ^
Suddenly Fred was wide awake. He opened his eyes and looked lost at the ceiling of his bedroom. His eyes felt moist and hot. He wiped the back of his hand and they sat up with a sobbing sigh. Then he winced and hurriedly looked next to him, but his bed was empty. Relieved, he took a deep breath and ran his now with the palm of his hand over his mouth. His eyes were still empty. As empty as he felt. completely undermined. His ideas centered around the pictures, which seemed only to bring some light into his desolate home affairs. He had once dreamed of Sebastian. From the time when his life had been worthwhile.
As he got up and dragged to the shower, he was still stuck with it. Saw himself back on the bed sheets. He had done so, he would sleep. A smile touched his face at the memory. He had always done so, he would sleep, for only then, Sebastian had been unpacked, so here is his pad and started to draw him. It had been their own, intimate moments. More intimate than the sex that they had given themselves to it. That was the best time in his life had been, even if she had stopped only a few meetings.
* * *
The first time he met Sebastian in the theater after a performance. He fell in love at first sight with the attractive, older man with an unusually gentle, blue eyes. Sebastian was there was already thirty-one. Twelve years older than him. But somehow it did not bother it. Sebastian was so nice, and so here is a seductive manner.
"You have danced wonderfully." Almost innocent he was when he taught these first words to him. Fred felt as if he were the first man to which Sebastian had ever said something. However, he knew it could not be. Sebastian was understood clearly. It was just his way to disguise that.
who had seduced the first thing he did not know the end. The result was the same: They ended up in bed together, on the evening of their first encounter and Sebastian had drawn him after he had fallen asleep. The next morning, Fred drawing lying beside him. Sebastian himself was no trace. But he sought and found him and so began their brief, intense affair.
* * *
turned deaf movements with Fredrik on the water in the shower and went under the beam is still cold. He willingly let the cold drops patter in the face. It did not help. He was just not awake. The images did not disappear. As so often he was caught in them. It was hopeless. He would never forget him. Never.
* * *
Frederik soon found out what had preferences Sebastian. Previously, he had never been particularly dominant in bed. But Sebastian to his partner threw completely. He liked it when he had him. Frederik and also found out that it caused him a lot. They complemented each other well and he developed in the short term strong property rights. Sebastian liked this also He liked it to be his.
Somehow Frederik not consider it possible that Sebastian's request could not limit him. Therefore, he was so shocked to Sebastian with another young man saw them together.
* * *
the water was warmer, but he could not bear even less. He turned back to cold and leaned his forehead against the tiles as he tried to get under control. He did not want to think about it. He wanted to finally stop thinking about him constantly. Especially not that!
* * *
Frederik was with some people after a show went to a bar to have a drink and relax. When he saw Sebastian, he thought he would come to see him and just wanted to welcome him happy when this guy suddenly appeared next to Sebastian and so possessive put his arm around him.
Frederik froze on the spot. They had not noticed. The guy Sebastian whispered something in his ear and led him out of the Without a bar to pay, too, left the bar and Fred followed the two men hastily. They went to a hotel and he did not have to guess what they were doing it. The guy signaled by his whole appearance that Sebastian was his. Most likely he was also convinced of it. Just as Fred was convinced was.
And he felt the first time this destructive jealousy and all this hot rage that he thought UNMO possible made. He had not known he could feel something.
* * *
"Shit," gasped softly and Frederik met several times with his forehead against the cool tiles. It did not help. Again these feelings had driven his inner emptiness. She seethed in him. Were high. They were eating something from him and he could do anything about it. At some point they would have eaten through his skin and he would never be the same again. Then the last bit of love would be the nineteen-year old disappeared from him. He did not know what happened with him. But he knew it already. He had seen it twice.
* * *
"Hey wait, you long for me?" Sebastian asked him smiling as he sat down with him to the café. They met always in this little cafe near the art school. Otherwise they would have had even less time together. Sebastian worked too much. He loved his work.
"No," replied Frederik. He looked at Sebastian with this hot feeling in his gut. Nothing told where that was the last night. With whom he had been together. He beamed now even normal. Gentle and kind as always.
"Fine. So ... Have you ordered what? "
"No." Fred swallowed and had to look away. He tried to behave also normal, but inside it ate away the feeling, and he was afraid he would lose Sebastian. Ultimately, he could not prevent it.
They went to Sebastian. Who did continue as if there were no other man besides himself Frederik But when she then went to bed together, he saw the mark on Sebastian's shoulder. The moment the feeling exploded in it. He hurt Sebastian. Deliberately so as not to choke on the feeling.
* * *
The memory of the night it cooled better than the cold water could. With soap, he rubbed himself as he could wash off the images with it. Of course, it did not work, but at least outwardly he was clean and quiet, as he stepped from the shower. His eyes fell on his own reflection. His mind took a jump in time. He saw Hagen, as he lay on the bed. Rolled up and sobbing. A different feeling struck him. Disgust. Abhorrence of himself and what he had done. He had felt it in the night with Sebastian. But before that Hagen it had been different.
* * *
He had hated him from the start. It seemed as Hagen had succeeded, what had not then succeeded. Hagen had done it that Sebastian just wanted him and the kid could not even have to do something. He would not even Sebastian. Instead, he had undertaken the task to him, Fred. Surely even if only to deceive him, but he seemed to be as much interested in it to Sebastian.
And he wanted to draw him.
Frederik could not jump over his shadow. He felt by Hagen's claim, draw him to want to pollute. As if he would want to desecrate the beautiful, intimate moments with Sebastian. At the same time he was also fascinated by Hagen. Like seemingly everyone who met this young man. From his carefree, easygoing, flighty kind It was grotesque. He hated Hagen. He looked at him and he felt sick. He heard his voice and got stomach cramps. And yet. He had him, but can not quite resist.
This strange mixture led to the fact that it escalated into him again. He wanted to show Hagen. Him to pay back everything. And then that was lying under him on the bed. He had snatched from him the mask. Hagen was not a narcissistic idiot, but a kind of distorted mirror image of itself: A lonely and abandoned child. All the hate Frederik corroded from the inside and the anger disappeared. Since only the horror was from himself And remorse, as then. He did not like Hagen. It did not hurt as much as the time with Sebastian. But he showed again that he was a man. He was dangerous. He had no control.
* * *
turned his eyes from his reflection. He went into the bedroom and put on clean clothes. His Movements it was mechanical. He felt it no more. He felt nothing. His day began. All the memories from his mind was pushing his way to the studio where he trained. Only when dancing, he still felt reasonably well.
* * *
after last night with Sebastian, he had thought he would have been brought under control. He dared not, however, once again enter into an intimate relationship with him. Somehow he knew that Sebastian was not ready and he did not know what he would do to him when Sebastian betrayed him again. But he wanted to be near him. Showed him that he wanted to be just a friend. Gradually he gained confidence Sebastian's back. It was hard. Sebastian did not at first something to do with him. Understandably. He was in the night was very brutal. Although it was not directly a rape, but only because Sebastian had not been completely rejected. Had he done so, Fred would be still can not hold back. He had wanted to have Sebastian, show him that it belonged to him alone and he had lost him forever.
But they had become friends again. With his restraint he had been led to believe Sebastian, that he no longer wanted. And at some point Sebastian had begun to tell him everything. He did not have many other friends. At least, not that he's Adventure could speak. Frederik suddenly understood why Sebastian had betrayed him at the time. Why he wanted to be possessed of so many men. What it gave him. He fared better with this knowledge. He could live with the fact that it was not only not succeeded in Sebastian's hunger very quiet. But then came Hagen and with it a further loss of control. Actually, a loss of everything that lay at his life.
* * *
After the training was Fred, as always, to the cafe. The same cafe as it was then. He sat in a rear corner, hoping to perhaps catch a glimpse of Sebastian, who also was still her. He just had to know that he was fine. However, he did not dare to seek his presence. Since Sebastian had drawn into the matter to Hagen the definitive line, and Frederik had accepted that. It was better that way. He did not inflict more suffering Sebastian. In a way, he was finally fault that the thing to Hagen as quickly had ended. Even if he was sure that would have violated Sebastian Hagen anyway sooner or later. If he had simply been waiting, Sebastian might come back to him.
Fred shook his head. An idiot hope. Especially Hagen would not have approved, his obvious interest in Frederiks person. He had already felt how Sebastian had started from jealousy, to alienate him. That was another trigger for his action was.
A jolt went through Frederik when Sebastian walked into the cafe. Actually, he came every day at this time. He then sat down at a table always at the window, ordered his favorite tea or coffee, depending on whether he had stress at work, and looked out the window to passers-by. He never looked over to Fred. Maybe he did not see him really. Maybe he did not see him but only.
But today he looked right at him as he entered. As if he knew where he would find him. For a brief moment was from Frederik's heart. Then he gave Sebastian's direct view of embarrassment. Only when this was before him, he looked back at him perforce. Sebastian looked down at him, frowning. For Fred it was impossible to interpret the expression in his eyes. For the first time in a long Sebastian had not placed his friendly demeanor.
"I mean your life?" He asked dryly.
Frederik blinked. He is immediately aware of where Sebastian had that. Hagen. The day before yesterday at the gym he has been in affect him. Perhaps it was this encounter that had conjured up all these memories.
"Yes," he finally replied softly.
a while Sebastian was still in front of his table, he pulled the chair back in front of him and sat down on it . Frederik pursued it, but without seeing his face. His eyes went no higher than up to Sebastian's chest.
"You're a huge asshole, you know?", "Asked Sebastian.
Normally, he took those words in your mouth. It sounded so unfamiliar that Frederik had to smile reluctantly. But then he nodded sadly. "I know."
"I really thought that you are about long time," admitted Sebastian gentle. "You were only nineteen. Have you felt this way about all the time? "
shaky Frederik took air and nodded. Yes. Had he. Six years. All the time. Whether Sebastian was with him or any of its countless admirers. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. Every second. He had always loved. From the first moment.
"You fool," murmured softly, stroking his Sebastian a tear from his cheek, which he did not have Back to return ; can ckhalten. "Why do you say anything?"
"I must not. I will not hurt you again, " he whispered hoarsely.
Sebastian sighed and breathed out and grabbed his hand. "The only one who can not stand that I will hurt you, but you do yourself" Tenderly stroked his thumb over Frederiks hand. "You break it and not me. Therefore I leave you then, not because of what happened. I thought you were already over me and would not ... Damn Frederik, Hagen is even better and faster over it, what you did to him than yourself "
Fred looked confused him now anyway. "Sure?"
"Yes. When I told him you were ill in bed, I did so only to protect you from him and not vice versa, "Sebastian said bitterly. "I know you now but yes a bit. Even though I have no idea really what you feel for me yet. Maybe I did not see it. "
" You told him that I was bad in bed? "Affected Fred looked at Sebastian.
"To protect you," said Sebastian again.
"And so you're up for it alone", the Assistant Frederik matt.
"Maybe." Sebastian sighed. "He reminds me so much to me. But I think I was wrong about him. "
" He is totally different, "confirmed Frederik. "He is a lonely child, the cries for attention and can not handle it, if it has them."
surprise signed off on Sebastian's face. Then He nodded. "Yes, you may be right."
"He's more like I do," muttered Fred. "I also feel like a stupid child who destroys everything that it shall not want."
"And then cry," she Sebastian added. "We all are children."
"What kind of kid are you?"
"One thing that has kept the most precious toys at all in his hands and has been replaced by greed to many other toys that him at all have meant nothing. "
" Hm I'm sorry I gave you the break made by Hagen, "Fred whispered softly.
Sebastian snorted not friendly: "I do not mean Hagen, you idiot."
Frederik looked slowly up again, right in Sebastian's face that smiled at him gently. Moderate suggested Sebastian: "We could try to grow up to be ... What do you mean"
"And if I break it up again?" asks Fred hoarse. This was after all his greatest Angst: Another loss of control.
"Then I change you," Sebastian jokingly threatened, but was then seriously. "I can defend myself, Fred, if I want. I could defend myself in the night, but I would not. Somehow I had it so deserves. It was part of it for me. But I did not mean to hurt. "
The words made for Frederik a whole new image. He frowned and looked puzzled at Sebastian. "You wanted it?"
Yes. I said only separated from you, because you then could not bear, "Sebastian said simply. "Childish. So ... Do we want to grow up? "
Fred nodded a little overwhelmed. "Certainly."
"Good." Sebastian smiled, Frederiks hand drew and kissed gently. "Enough playing."
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